Thursday, 10 July 2008

WAITING FOR GODDEN...READ EGON & EAT CHOCOLATE

On Tuesday I skulked beneath slate grey clouds, what dispondency descended and with it thick sheets of rain. After a truly contemptible SaltPeter gig on Monday at The Water Rats in Kings Cross I hid from the darkness in my flat with a heavy heart. Why are shows like that sometimes? When others make perfect sense? I guess that’s just cluster fuck gigs, and you just have to get over it, brush yourself down and pick yourself back up. Dictionary / Cluster Fuck Gig: six or more bands on one night and one stage; see x-factor or battery chicken; rushed soundcheck and set up; hectic moving of equipment on and off after each act; bullshit door and slave payment policies; relying on bands blanket bombing invites on facebook and myspace; See pure hell. The next day I was second guessing my capability to even make tea. I couldn’t function for the knots of self-depreciation. I should have got paid for each minute I was in post-mortem worry, then everybody could go for fancy lunch this weekend, on a river, with a punt and a pint. However, that’s by the by, for the black dog was following me around, salivating every time I whinnied and lapping up the frustration and tears. I managed to rise at my usual hour of 5am, I knew I had better just get on with work and get into the next job in hand. It would be a disaster to be late for a deadline too and so I hurtled into watching hours and hours of pornography. Under my dirty raincoat of malaise and depression, deep throat and money shots didn’t exactly raise my spirits. This month I have been asked to write a piece on erotic film makers and had to research a mix bag of gay, straight and lesbian film. After a while I discovered some gems, did you know there is a game where you get to be a burgular, take ladies captive and sexy torture them in a dungeon? Did you ever see the Japanese interactive stuff with the octopussy tentacles flying in and out of every orifice? Or Asian girl goes into a shop to start sucking carrots? I found quite funny animated porn - check out Sohos – its like Friends but with three cartoon chicks getting naked. My appetite returned and I found a bar of organic chocolate behind a bag of rubbery celery at the back of the fridge. By my bedside the story of Egon Schiele - “The Pornographer of Vienna” by Lewis Crofts. They went together perfectly – thunder and lightening, sucking chunks of bitter sweet chocolate whilst reading about the Austrian artist famed for his sexually explicit portraits of the underbelly of Viennese life in the dying years of the Habsburg Empire. What an awesome read...i was engrossed from start to finish. BIGThanks to all the Chelmsford crew for a delightful pimms and poetry fest in Essex on Saturday! So much fun and excellent to hang out with favourite top mates and poets all day. We were so sweet playing in the sand pit under the coconut trees too. I woke up on Sunday morning in a windmill, I had a breakfast of black tea and bare ass golf … golf: a game in which the object is to get the ball into each hole in as few strokes as possible. Well what do you know? Looky here! I see a nice man has posted a note on the SaltPeter group discussion board saying he was at the gig on Monday and loved it. He’s even bought the SaltPeter album, now imagine that? Maybe it was just one of those OK-ish for a rainy Monday night in the gutters of kings x’s ratty waters gigs…we may be in the gutters but we are looking at the stars…as the great SP drummer Theolonius Moniak always says “Sweet!” THIS WEEKS TOP TIPS: Read Porn / Eat Chocolate Love.Life.Long.Light.Live.Alive. Sxxxx poetry gigs: 15th July Spice Festival Hackney Empire 18th July Latitude Festival 19th July Camp Bestival Festival Next SaltPeter show: 3rd Aug STANDON FESTIVAL check Lewis Crofts out here: http://www.lewiscrofts.com/myblog/